"Train Wrecked" Response

        Juniper, or “Junie,” has moved from Boston to North Carolina seeking to put behind her the ghosts of a complicated past involving  a mysterious accident that left her best friend, Anna, seriously injured. At her new school, Junie meets a girl named Amberly who helps her to open up and enjoy her life again, before her secrets are resurfaced and her future is left in limbo. 

One thing I really enjoyed about this story was the tension that is built throughout by the subtle references to Junie’s mysterious and dark past. This is introduced from the very beginning, on page 3, when Junie says obliquely, “Somtimes I think the accident hurt her more than it hurt me, or Anna.” I also enjoyed how aspects of Junie’s character, like her observance of fashion, were kept up throughout the story, from the first time Junie compares her mother’s hair to someone from a fashion TV show, to her terming of Amberly’s wardrobe as “shabby chic.” 

The conflict throughout the majority of the story seems to be social, focused around Junie fitting into her new home and school, but the concluding conflict has to do with Junie’s mysterious past and the accident that befell her and Anna. I would suggest introducing and emphasizing the fact that Junie has lied to both police and her mother about what really happened more frequently. I know the author wants to keep the backstory mysterious, but I found myself confused at several points putting the story together. Also, there are several points in the narrative where Junie “summarizes” the action that is occurring, rather than the events being included fully in dialogue and action. For example, as Amberly is explaining her past, Junie narrates, “She laughter and explained that she was once like me. She categorized people. The cool kids, the art freaks, the band geeks, everything. That was unti her mother died.” This could be communicated in a simple conversation, and would feel like less of a break in the flow of the two girls’ conversation. Finally, I personally wished for more finality in the ending, which in its current state feels like a “cliffhanger,” and more like the first chapter of a book than a complete short story in itself. This might be difficult to change, but one possible solution is to only focus on Junie’s social adjustment rather than the possible criminality of the “accident.”