"Put One Foot in Front of the Other and Breathe" Response

          Celia is a troubled student who connects with a boy online, only to find out that he is not who he pretends to be. In pursuing him, she alienates her parents and her high school best friend, Tess, who warned her against the relationship. When his true identity is revealed, Celia realizes her thoughtlessness and immaturity towards her family and her only friend.
          I thought the subject matter of the story was very timely, especially considering there is an entire TV show now dedicated to uncovering the truth behind suspicious online relationships. It's also easy to see how Celia's loneliness and alienation fed into her love for "Cain" and obsession with their relationship, eventually ruining her academic future and her relationship with Tess before the ruse was even revealed.
          However, there were a couple flaws I found in this story. For one, it was apparent from the very beginning that Cain was not going to be all Celia hoped, both from her describing her narrative from the very start as a "sad little tale" and Tess's foreboding warning that "You're gonna get matched with some creepy stalker." From these constant reminders that this story will not end happily, it is neither surprising nor moving when it doesn't. The warnings of Tess and the worries of her parents are exactly confirmed; I can't feel sympathy for the narrator if she ignores all good advice and is then surprised when good doesn't come of it. For me, I want the "stakes" of the story to be higher. If she has a secure safety net of her family and their support before she takes the risk of dropping out of school and traveling to Colorado, the risk isn't too large. She can come back home, mend the relationships with Tess and her parents, and ease into school again. I would like to see the "real" Cain, as that would add a greater sense that she has been deceived, and thus more sympathy for her. Instead of a cute college student with "sandy blonde hair and brown eyes," it would be more interesting if we saw he was an unhappily married 30-something with 2 kids, a desperate loner intent on scamming her, a teacher at the school rather than a student, etc. Never seeing or having direct, face-to-face conversation with Cain leaves the story feeling incomplete. One suggestion to remedy this could be that Celia uses the last of her money to travel to New Mexico, still believing they can be together, only to realize he is nothing like he pretended even in conversation. There are other options to be tested out, any of which would add a lot more depth to the story.